Before You Give Up…Try This

Ever been a situation and afterwards thought about a thousand ways that it could’ve gone better? I’m sure we all have at one point and time. On Friday, I took a class called crucial conversations. It was designed to help us take an introspective look at our lives by focusing on conversations we have with those around us, the stories we created about others, and how we acted on these stories instead of the facts.

Fact #1. At the first real life opportunity to practice what I learned, I failed miserably. After purchasing a garment from a store, I put it into my large bag, and changed into it in the store bathroom. In the bathroom I applied my contacts.  While applying my contacts, the Loss Prevention associate walked in. She just stood there and watched me. I asked, “Do you need my receipt, I have it here if that’s what you want.”

I obviously created a story in my head that the associate stood by because she thought I had stolen something. She replied, “No, I just wanted to wash my hands.” In the process of putting on my contacts, I was oblivious to the fact that I was hogging up the only sink and mirror in the bathroom. Whomp.

Since the class, I started noticing crucial conversations with people around me. However, there was one crucial conversation that I hadn’t participated in, the one with myself. I’m not saying that you should start talking and answering in third person. By this, I mean that you should start taking an introspective look at the things you do and why you do it.

Over the past few months I have become increasingly involved with flag football. I ignored aspects of my life that needed to be addressed. After a crucial conversation, I came to terms with the fact that things weren’t going as “planned”. I felt that I lacked control and that it was easier to hide under my mess and focus on something less terrifying–football. It offered me immediate satisfaction and it was definitely more fun.

Truth be told. My mess was still there waiting for me. It hadn’t morphed into something pretty and inviting. Just like how my dirty room stayed dirty. The same permanence occurred with my thoughts and actions. They stayed the same because I never attempted to address them. 

It’s ok to take a break from life’s problems by focusing on something else for a little bit. You have to remember to return to the problem. If you don’t,  It’ll still be there staring it’s ugly head right back at you. YOU HAVE TO ADDRESS IT. 

In case you haven’t noticed. I’ve been MIA because writing forces me to address life’s issues. Avoidance is only a temporary solution as I’ve experienced. Try this next time. Set a specific length of time for the break you plan to take from your situation. Stick to it. After the break, address it. Even if it’s a little bit at a time, still address it. That’s the only way to move on with life and to move towards inner peace. 

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