You Moved Because of a MAN?!

Yes, I did. Most importantly I moved because I’m invested in a relationship and would like to contribute its success. As you may have guessed by the title, this was the remark I received when I answered a woman that asked me why I moved to Chicago. I moved  because of my boyfriend. Maybe if I had said I moved because of my husband or life-long partner I would’ve gotten a different response.

Frankly,it doesn’t matter. When I made the decision to move. First, to New York , then to Chicago , it took me som time to process the decision. Initially, I thought, wow, I’m starting a whole new life because of a man. That wasn’t wholly true. I acknowledged that I was moving because of my boyfriend but I wasn’t moving solely because of him.

The primary reason for my move was my relationship. A relationship that we both cultivated for years and have seen grow. This was a relationship that has been filled with love, triumph over adversity, promise, and potential. I built this relationship with someone special whom I hoped to spend the rest of my life with. Not moving would almost mean that I gave up on the relationship and the potential of what could be.

Also, why are reactions different when one says, I moved because of my boyfriend vs. I moved because of my husband? Perhaps because someone is a husband, they have committed to staying ? For better or for worse right? Unfortunately, there’s no insurance when between two people dating. It’s almost like the ring and wedding vows are down payments for any major decision that might break up a couple.

Truth is, with divorce rates nearly at 50%, nothing is guaranteed. A husband can break your heart just the same as a boyfriend. There are intricacies that are involved with marriage that may not be involved with dating but nonetheless it should be considered. In my opinion, if you have a partner that is a potential to be a husband, you should treat situations as if they are.

Hear me out. There’s this saying that, you can’t give boyfriends husband privileges. The way I see it, how is this potential husband suppose to know that you are a potential wife if you’re not able to make some sacrifices? I’m not saying that one should change who they are because of someone else. I’m just saying, life is about compromises and so are relationships.

In my opinion, if there are certain things that you are not willing to compromise on, there will be certain things that you may miss out on as a result. That’s why I moved. If I didn’t move, there was a high likelihood that the relationship would not survive. There is always a likelihood that a relationship won’t survive, but those chances are reduced with certain actions. My response to the woman’s remark, a simple smile. I’d rather be satisfied that I attempted the road less taken rather than be upset that I failed after taking the road widely traveled.



4 thoughts on “You Moved Because of a MAN?!

  1. I totally agree with you. A husband can do what a boyfriend can, they can both hurt you. I think getting married is a way of formalising the relationship. In the long run, trying is what will please you the most, instead of holding back, knowing you didn’t put your best into the relationship. You would even beat yourself up if it didn’t work. But I think, love between partners, will determine routes taken. One who loves you, won’t hurt you as much as the one who loves less would.

    Liked by 2 people

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